It's Only Temporary

When Emily was three or four weeks old she would get really fussy and cranky around 4 p.m. We would calm her down only to get a screaming, crying, very unhappy baby around 8 p.m. Brad and / or I would be up for hours trying to figure out what was wrong and how to help. Many, many times I sat on the couch holding a screaming baby telling myself, "This is only temporary. This is only temporary. This isn't going to last forever."

When Emily was seven weeks old we finally figured out she had reflux, got her on some meds and the crying, screaming fits ended. That was only temporary.

Emily started sleeping through the night when she was about 11 weeks old - right before I went back to work (awesome!). That all changed once she was five months old. All of sudden Emily wanted to be awake in the middle of the night. Sleep was only optional. Again, I sat on the couch, in the middle of the night, with a crying baby telling myself, "This is only temporary. This is only temporary. This isn't going to last forever."

And yes, with a little (modified) sleep training, Emily started sleeping through the night again. That was only temporary.

Then there were those times I would excuse myself from whatever was going on at that moment (work, hanging out with friends, running errands, playing with Emily, sleep, etc) and lock myself in a room (or bathroom) with the pump. When Emily was ten months old I was very ready to be done pumping. I was sick and tired of being hooked up to the pump several times a day. But, there were many times when I remember thinking, "This is only temporary. This is only temporary. This isn't going to last forever."

And of course, it didn't last forever. It was a "sacrifice" I was more than happy to make for a year for my sweet girl. It was only temporary.

Last weekend when Emily was sick, we had a lot of downtime at the hospital. We sat there with our sweet little girl, who just felt like crap, wishing the doctor would move just a little bit faster. She was so sick and we were very worried. I remember thinking, "This is only temporary. This is only temporary. She's going to get better and this isn't going to last forever."

All of a sudden it dawned on me - sure, the tough times are only temporary, but so are the good times. Emily isn't always going to want me to snuggle with her before she goes to bed. She isn't going sit in her highchair, sign "all done" and continue to eat with a smile on her face. She isn't going to pull her little doggy around the living room and laugh everyday. She isn't going to run to me and smile everytime I pick her up from school. She isn't always going to blow kisses to her daddy before she goes to bed. All of those things are only temporary.

It may take a rough night or a sick little baby to remind me that good and bad - it's all temporary. I need to cherish each moment I'm given with my sweet little girl.

This is only temporary . . .

Our Trip to the ER

We had to take Emily to the ER Sunday morning - it was not a fun experience.

Emily woke up for her nap around noon on Friday with a fever and trouble breathing. I gave her some Mortin and breathing treatment and she seemed to be doing much better! Well, she woke up from her second nap and her fever was even higher. Awesome. We cancelled our Friday night plans and spent the evening at home with Emily. She woke up around 11 p.m. - fever of 102ish. I gave her some Tylenol and she went back to sleep. I wasn't too concerned because she had no other symptoms and has done this kind of thing before.

Saturday - Emily woke up and wasn't great. Fever would go down with Mortin or Tylenol, but right back up when the meds wore off. One minute she was happy playing, the next she was screaming and not happy. Saturday night she woke up around 10 p.m. very unhappy. I took her to bed with us. A few minutes later I was covered in puke. Brad got everything into the wash and we all went to bed. About a hour later - same thing, Emily was throwing up. Got cleaned up and back to sleep.

Around 5 a.m. I woke up and put my hand on Emily's forehead - BURNING up. We took her temperature and it was 105. I looked at Brad and said, "Emergency Room! Now!" We grabbed a few things and got to the hospital as fast as we could.

The ER staff did a great job getting us to a room and making Emily as comfortable as they could. Her sweet nurse gave her a good dose of Tylenol and the fever started to come down. A shift change and an hour later, the doctor came in. He had zero personality, but he checked out Emily and ordered some tests. Emily's new nurse came in (he was awesome) and got the process going. Poor Emily had blood drawn, a flu test, and catheter. She was not a happy camper.

Two hours later, we learn Emily has a urinary tract infection. She gets a shot of antibiotics, a prescription for antibiotics at home, and we are out of there! We were there about 7 hours - but it really was a quick 7 hours (if that's possible).

She slept great last night but woke up this morning with a fever again. It's going to take a few days for her to be back to normal - but I think we are on the right track (hopefully).

I just feel so helpless. There's not really anything I can do to help to her feel better. I'm trying to get her to drink as much water as possible and anything she needs to be comfortable, but that's it. I really hope she's able to get past this soon. Poor baby.

Chores

Emily has her first chore around the house. She gets to feed Banjo in the evenings.

And it's really cute to watch her.

It all started the other day when Emily opened the dog food container, grabbed a handful of  food, and put it in Banjo's bowl. (yes, I realize we probably shouldn't leave the dog food container so easily accessible, but oh well). It was so sweet. After that we decided she was old enough to feed the dog.

She's still asleep when Brad feeds Banjo in the morning. And I don't need to anything else on our to-do list in the morning, so Emily just gets to help at night. I'll tell her, "Let's feed Banjo!" And she walks over to the dog food container and opens the top. I'll scoop the food into the cup and hand it Emily. Then she walks about four feet over to Banjo's bowl and pours in the food. Some days, I have to help her carry the cup - she hasn't quite mastered holding it up-right all of the time. But she really understands the concept and the directions.

Now, if I can just get her to put the laundry away.

A {little} Rant

The local Christian radio station I listen to is running an ad that is about to drive me up the wall. This may be worse than the time another station played the song Over and Over Again, over and over and over and over and over....again. This ad runs at least two times every hour and I've had enough. Enough, that I'm climbing up on a little soap-box.

Apparently, running (very annoying) ads on a Christian radio station is the way to convince mother's to breastfeed their babies. And it's the best way to spend some non-profit, pro-breastfeeding organization's money. Lovely.

Y'all know I'm very pro-breastfeeding. I really think it's the best thing for a baby and it saves your family a TON of money, among many other things. BUT I also think it's a very personal decision and not a decision someone should make because of a (very) cheezy ad on the radio. Sure, if the horrible ad gets moms to talk about it - maybe it will lead to more people breastfeeding. And that's a great thing....blah, blah, blah.

All these "you-must-breastfeed" organizations love to tell you the positives (and there are a lot): how wonderful it is, how much money you'll save, how it will help moms lose their baby weight so much faster, how easy is it to feed in public, how natural it is, etc. However, I also think all of these organizations, should be honest about how hard breastfeeding can be. They don't tell new mothers (especailly first time mothers) how much it's going to hurt and how clueless you are going to feel. They don't share that you will constantly worry if your child is eating enough or if you are producing enough. And if you don't produce enough milk - just pump (cause that's not akward and painful enough). They don't tell you that all of that weight you lost, you'll gain 10-15 pounds back once you are done breastfeeding. They don't tell you that there will be moments you will feel like a cow and a dairy farmer all at the same time. And feeding in public - seriously?!?! Just cause the law say you can, doesn't mean it's easy or comfortable.

I'm not trying to be a negative-nelly, I'm just trying to be honest. Breastfeeding is hard.

Yes, breastfeeding was hard and I was VERY happy to be done. However, it was the right decision for me and for Emily. I always told myself, if it didn't work, it didn't work. But I wanted to give it a good, honest try. And I did. And it worked, for a year. There were a lot of moments I really doubted what I was doing. I wondered if I was doing everything right. And all along I kept thinking, "this isn't as easy as everyone (and the ads) made it seem." It was hard and a lot of work. But it was worth it.

.....climbing down for my soap-box.

Milk

We gave Emily cow's milk right before her first birthday. She did okay with it for the first few days and then refused to drink it. We warmed it up, gave it to her in a bottle, got a new "fun" cup....etc. Nothing seemed to work. The little girl is too smart for her own good. We just kept offering it to her and she kept turning us down. I can't really blame the child, I can't stand cow's milk either.

This week we tried soy milk. The first day she did great - drank it up! However, every day since then, it's been a little bit worse. The other night she threw a trantrum  - screaming, crying, pouting, sobbing, pushing her cup away, throwing her cup down - trantrum. All because we wouldn't give her water. She did a little better with it today (aka - no tatrum), but she isn't drinking nearly as much as she should be. I must say, I've always been scared to try soy milk (no idea why) but it's pretty good. I might start drinking it myself.

Emily loves her cheese, yogurt, and other dairy products. But isn't a fan of milk. I've finally decided, it's not worth the fight. We'll keep offering her the soy milk with all her meals. But I'm not going to force it on her. She'll give in one day soon.

On a totally different note - we got Emily's 1-Year pictures from the photographer today. They are so adorable! Here are just a few for you to enjoy :)