It's Only Temporary

When Emily was three or four weeks old she would get really fussy and cranky around 4 p.m. We would calm her down only to get a screaming, crying, very unhappy baby around 8 p.m. Brad and / or I would be up for hours trying to figure out what was wrong and how to help. Many, many times I sat on the couch holding a screaming baby telling myself, "This is only temporary. This is only temporary. This isn't going to last forever."

When Emily was seven weeks old we finally figured out she had reflux, got her on some meds and the crying, screaming fits ended. That was only temporary.

Emily started sleeping through the night when she was about 11 weeks old - right before I went back to work (awesome!). That all changed once she was five months old. All of sudden Emily wanted to be awake in the middle of the night. Sleep was only optional. Again, I sat on the couch, in the middle of the night, with a crying baby telling myself, "This is only temporary. This is only temporary. This isn't going to last forever."

And yes, with a little (modified) sleep training, Emily started sleeping through the night again. That was only temporary.

Then there were those times I would excuse myself from whatever was going on at that moment (work, hanging out with friends, running errands, playing with Emily, sleep, etc) and lock myself in a room (or bathroom) with the pump. When Emily was ten months old I was very ready to be done pumping. I was sick and tired of being hooked up to the pump several times a day. But, there were many times when I remember thinking, "This is only temporary. This is only temporary. This isn't going to last forever."

And of course, it didn't last forever. It was a "sacrifice" I was more than happy to make for a year for my sweet girl. It was only temporary.

Last weekend when Emily was sick, we had a lot of downtime at the hospital. We sat there with our sweet little girl, who just felt like crap, wishing the doctor would move just a little bit faster. She was so sick and we were very worried. I remember thinking, "This is only temporary. This is only temporary. She's going to get better and this isn't going to last forever."

All of a sudden it dawned on me - sure, the tough times are only temporary, but so are the good times. Emily isn't always going to want me to snuggle with her before she goes to bed. She isn't going sit in her highchair, sign "all done" and continue to eat with a smile on her face. She isn't going to pull her little doggy around the living room and laugh everyday. She isn't going to run to me and smile everytime I pick her up from school. She isn't always going to blow kisses to her daddy before she goes to bed. All of those things are only temporary.

It may take a rough night or a sick little baby to remind me that good and bad - it's all temporary. I need to cherish each moment I'm given with my sweet little girl.

This is only temporary . . .