Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Life at Home

Our little girl is 3.5 weeks old. There are some moments that I feel like this time has just flown by and others that I'm just watching the seconds tick by (I think that's at 3am when she's having a fit). I do realize that in no time my 12 weeks at home will be up, I'll be back at work (something I'm NOT looking forward to) and the time I spend with Emily will be very limited!

Just an FYI before you continue - This post is not me complaining about motherhood or Emily. It's about me adjusting to life at home. It's about me adjusting to life without 10+ people around 10 hours of the day to talk to. It's about me learning how to care for a 3 week old, myself and our family in a new way. And as hard as it has been to adjust - I wouldn't trade any of it!

So what has it been like at home with our little one? Honestly, it's been wonderful but a hard adjustment. Last week was my first full week at home alone with Emily. And as much as I loved spending so much time with her - it was a long week. Don't get me wrong Emily isn't the reason the week was long, it was me. It was me adjusting to life at home, alone with a 3 week old. It was me realizing how easy I had it before she was around.

I suddenly appreciate a long shower, being able to get ready at a leisurely pace, being able to leave the house without worrying about a crying baby and the ability to wear what ever I want without thinking, "how easy will it be to feed Emily if I wear that?" And even though it took some adjusting I did take a shower, get ready and get out of the house everyday last week (aren't you proud of me?).

Besides figuring out a routine for Emily and me - the most difficult thing was being alone all day. Emily, Banjo, chores, DVR'd TV shows and running errands can only keep me entertained for so long. I'm still working on figuring out a good balance between staying busy but getting rest. Between getting Emily on a routine but not letting her routine take over our life. Between spending time with Brad, with Emily and still giving myself a few moments away from it all. I'm still working on figuring out a balance for a lot of things. And yes, I understand that finding this balance will always be the challenge.

And seriously, when this little girl gets in one of her crying fits - it breaks my heart! Last night she screamed for 2.5 hours. Why? I have no idea. I tried to calm her down without waking Brad up but she was screaming so loud that wasn't possible. Then Brad tried to calm her down and she wanted no part in that either. It's really hard to stay calm and patient at 3am. Finally, we changed her diaper (just to change it) and she stopped crying.I'm not sure why that worked - but I didn't really care at 4am.

The thing I struggle with during these crying fits in the middle of the night (besides calming her down) is trying to let Brad sleep. As much as I love the help in the middle of the night, I feel bad that he's not asleep. He still has to get up and go to work in the morning and I can (usually) take a nap if I want to. I know that he doesn't mind (most of the time) but I still feel bad.But I also appreciate the help and I know he likes helping.

I do know that this is just a passing phase and the adjusting will happen to our new life will happen. I also know that once we adjust to this phase it will be time to figure out a new one. I know that time is going to fly by and before we know it we'll be planning Emily's 1st birthday party.

And just because...here's a picture of Banjo giving Emily a kiss after her bath.

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